Teresyum Herald - Issue IX

Brew & Brawls

“It was a confusing time to be a tiefling…”

The scroll

A mysterious submission on a piece of paper with unknown magical aura on it.

So recently I had the pleasure of gambling, it was an interesting bet that worked out much better than I expected. This wasn’t our first bet, but let’s just say that it turned our amazing in the end. The race started off, a couple of my other buddies bet on their own horses but in the end mine one by some advantage, I told them that power isn’t everything for creatures like them. Anyway let me walk you through the race.

First they had a very big cart filled with…. apples, you know because horses really like apples. They were five of them and all of them supposed to carry the cart to the finish line. Now obviously the race wasn’t just a straight line, as most things are in life, it got more complicated. Now the horses managed to reach the first checkpoint on their journey, and what weather, ice and snow everywhere. They had to fight tigers and escape hordes of Windspirtis and Giant Eagles. All in all the horses make it to the first checkpoint, now they have a break, or so they think. During the night a lot of strange things happening, magical mists and giant monsters show up out of nowhere and while the horses survive the lodge in the mountains and the people who took care of the horses didn’t make it out so good, one of them missing and the lodge half-eaten.

Now the horses had a choice, they could go through the magical mist, no idea of what would happen, they could show up anywhere, or they could carry on their missions. It was by far the most exhilarating part of the race, to see if they manage to cross the first finish line. In the end they decided and stuck by it and I won the bet. Now my friends are still undecided about horses and whether they make good companions and allies, but I am pretty much convinced. Now a good businessman cannot reveal the identity of his horse, how would that be fair? But I heard about your little project here with the newspaper, quite impressive and I simply wanted to let you know that horses this month made us happy and more willing to help.

- with regards from the Loremaster

Rosewood & Vorpal Storytellers

Rosewood? Now there’s a tale! Just put up your feet a while and let Whisper tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It was a bit confusing, though, to be honest, and I was there. Something, something, stolen honey, something, something, dire bear? In any event, nothing mattered, none of it, until Johnny Six-Strings came to town.

Some say Johnny was a local boy, others say he was an angel cast out of heaven because he was drawing the wrong sort of crowd. All I can say for sure is that he had the fastest, sickest set of hands ever to pick up an electric lute. Elves wanted him. Fiends wanted to BE him. Like, put their souls into his body. Possession, I’m talking about possession. It was too bad for them, though, because every time they tried, Johnny just played a chord so powerful that it instantly redeemed their souls and made them ascend. It was a confusing time to be a tiefling, is what I’m saying.

The Vorpals were trying to save Rosewood from the elves, but Johnny could see that they were out of their depth and decided to lend them a hand. He led them to a magic lake, played a few chords, and a gateway opened up, right there in the middle of it! I know, I know, you were expecting some moistened bint lobbing scimitars, but that’s a different tale. Johnny led them through the gate to meet a woman who turned out to be…an unemployed Fate? A demi-goddess? I can’t say for sure, but the important thing is that Johnny played her an acoustic version of Take On Me so sweet that she immediately told the Vorpals what they needed to know and knit Johnny himself a magic sweater.

On their way back, a hex blade portal opened up and Johnny, seeing just what to do, jumped right through it to take on the main hex blade by himself. The Vorpals didn’t know what was up, though, and went back to Rosewood to sort all this out with Xander, the main elf in Rosewood, who Johnny liked to call The Big X. Suddenly and inexplicably, in a way that wasn’t anyone’s fault, The Big X mysteriously died. The important thing to remember is that no one was to blame at all. But if you insist on hearing what happened, look over there! A minotaur with also the body of a bull! Wait, what was I saying?

So the Vorpals were discouraged when The Big X became The Big Ex and tried to fix things by going to the hex blade lair. Johnny, of course, had already dealt with the hex blades by then, but he could see that the Vorpals were in low spirits. He came up with a series of puzzles and team building exercises for the Vorpals to face as they went through the lair to “rescue” Johnny. They did the trick, if you can believe it, and the newly confident Vorpals returned to Rosewood to fix everything once and for all.

They went to the Big Elven Conclave to Decide the Fate of the Town and tried to defeat the elves with…history, I want to say? Whatever it was, it was boring and it wasn’t working. But just when things looked their darkest and the elves were closing in on the Vorpals with blades drawn, Johnny stepped in and played a secret chord that sent him back in time. There, Johnny fixed history to make it exciting with more sword fights and explosions and, along, the way, he even planted a pinch of phoenix ash and grew the very first fire pepper. He jumped back to the then that was now, but in the past, and suddenly instead of having drawn blades, the elves all had drums and bass guitars! There was even a cowbell! They say elves live a thousand years, but even so, every elf there agreed that the jam session that followed was the greatest of their lives. The elves decided to leave Rosewood and offered to make Johnny the King of Town. Johnny explained that he was already the King, baby, but he did agree to become Mayor.

And that’s how Johnny Six Strings saved Winter Solstice. It’s all true, I swear. I mean, has your pal Whisper ever lied to you before?

— ♦ —

"Rosewood eh? Another perfect example of how the Wood Elves tried to do skulduggery on a deal they once made. At least there are some people with a speck of honor among them, well... one less now, a shame really." Sahav shakes his head, angry wisps of magic curl of his two horns. "Still interested? Hehehee, curiosity killed the dire cat they say.... but if you insist. Have a seat, take a slice of firepepper pie, please stop staring at my horns and don't be unnerved by this demonic looking green eye I have." He fills himself a cup of tea and the strong smell of spices fills the air "Now, I admit the whole story I do not know, the rest of the group, and some intern, were there first and I only came along on the second trip to the town. Hmm... take a guess, to whom did the lands of Rosewood belong first? Elves? HA! They wish. Humans? They came later. No the original inhabitants of that area were orcs. Surprised? Well some certain people made sure to keep that part of history behind the cobwebs under the forgotten couch in that particular dusty attic."

"The elves, wood elves to be precise, basically hired humans to annihilate those orcish tribes and turned the hills dark with their blood. For that they gave them the land... with some hooks attached of course, there always are with them." The onyx skinned infernal sips from the cup.(edited) "So after the whole mess that happened when the group was there first, we now discovered that the elves tried to declare the area as 'holy ground', the usual shtick you know, since the area is now seeped in magic... but! The captain leading their forces, Zander his name, was... a good man. Tried to help the humans living there, gave his best to turn the tide so they would be able to live in peace and prosper. Us appearing did throw a wrench in everybody's plan there I assume. Zander died, a shame, due to some business with that Guardian of Hope and the Hexblade... we probably have not heard the end of that quite yet. Anyway the elves obviously did not like it because we were undermining their efforts to claim the territory and in the end we laid bare the deal they made with the ancestors of two specific human individuals in town, a young boy named Johnny and his grandmother, showed everybody a nice recording of the devastating orcish genocide and overall had a happy little conclave." He laughs bitterly.

"Wait... are you writing this down? You talked to Whisper before me right? Elf, very jolly, glamorous, probably told you a wonderful fairy tale of an adventure we had? Hahahahaha, better put that one under the 'legends & myths' category. Though I must say, he has a way with words and it probably makes for a nice bedtime story... could I get a copy of what he told you? Thanks." "Yes? Ah, how the area became saturated with magic? Oh, I would truly love to tell you, but... I have somebody to take care off right now, and I promised to bring some beverages and sweets from town." With that Sahav puts down his cup, takes the plate with pie, the can of tea and goes into the quarters of the tower.

- with regards from the Loremaster

Brew & Brawls

Months ago after a large incident in the capitol, the world famous chef and barkeep Davin Steelsoul was fired from the Wandering Fox. His loss was a great one and shocked many of us, but luckily the lad did not wallow in self pity. Soon after his departure rumors started sprouting up, they spoke of a new place, better than the fox, better than any other tavern, inn or bar in the entirety of the Federation. A place where getting in required an invite from one of the core members, where the greatest deeds would be turned into stories, stories that would live longer than any adventurer ever would. And then it finally came, the announcement, Davin would be opening his new place, Davins Brewhouse.

We asked some of the adventurers who were some of his regulars to give us some comments about their time with Davin, and we received plenty of replies. From some of the younger and fresher adventurers, to old heroes and legends, many had something to say about our favorite bartending, mug wielding dwarven friend.

From the hero of Sivania himself, Richard “Dick” Voldarus, brought us a few kind words.

“"That old s***? Missed his brews they were good, however weak they were. For sure going to get some more soon."”

Detective Graves, one of the two prestigious detectives from Clairvoyant investigations had a something to tell us about Davin and their experiences together as well.

"Davins back eh? Old dwarf sure can brew with the best of them. Never should have gotten rid of him in the first place. Always had my bourbon and steak cooking and waiting when i walked in."

And who could forget the words of the guild’s favorite Ursine, Ursa McFluffyBoy

"Davin was the cool man's. He played the games, did the drinks, yelled at people. Hated bears, it very fun. He get thrown out and ale become bad. It not his ale. He throw mugs at small people who be the Dumbo's. And it whack them in face, and they fall. Davin was good dwarf man, earn me respect. And he also tell me about weird forest place, and name on ring. That really cool. That was Davin"

Karliene, one of the newer adventurers, but certainly not one to be overlooked shared a heartwarming family memory.

“My fondest memory of Davin would be when he would serve up a fresh bowl of meatballs after a day of training with my father. While probably not the most fun or exciting memory its one i treasure from a simpler time in my life.”

Lastly one of the younger rookies, Niall, also decided to tell us something about his memories of Davin and his time in the Fox.

“First guy I've ever met, and first Dwarf in around here as well. He was a good guy to him so i thought he was pretty sick, hes on the homie list and i think a comeback is needed from davin and give him all the friend points. It may not have been that long for knowing him but he was the best dwarf I’ve met in out of the other 6 around. Still miss him, his leaving was a tragic one and he is missed”

But then we got lucky, and managed to get ourselves a tour of the place before most people had even been able to see it. And it was a sight to behold, the technology and craftsmanship used to create a place such as that.

The outside of the building was built by master masons, Forgers like Davin himself had come all the way from across the world to help construct this magnificent structure. A massive team of engineers and smiths were employed to install all of the technology and craft the parts needed for it. I don’t think there’s ever been that large an amount of Forgers in the capitol in the last hundred years. The outer walls are decorated with dwarven runes and art, masterfully created copper work and great stone mugs to show whom owned this place. Even from outside you could smell the aromas of the exotic drinks served inside, the expertly cooked food and the scent of coziness. The door itself was not just an artwork, it was also capable of withstanding most forces that it will ever meet. The Door itself carved out of one single piece of Darkwood, a type of wood from the northern freeholmes known for being harder than steel. Bronze garnishments formed an artwork of a mug and portrayed the story of the construction by having mechanically moving Forgers working on the mug.

The inside truly is a sight to behold, the walls are lined with trophies and artworks displaying the might and accomplishments that Mr. Steelsoul’s customers have accomplished. From things as small as a tooth to something as large at the spine of a dragon, it is all there, but the items are not what make these decorations truly special. The stories that these items tell, that is the truly astonishing thing about this tavern, every single oddity has a reason for being there, and maybe one day your own story lines those walls. The furniture is just like you’d expect, proper Forger quality. The place is not just heated by two massive fireplaces, but the floors itself are heated with some form of technology that is beyond most people. But the bar, never has anything like it been seen before, dozens of ales and mead, racks filled to the ceiling with wine bottles. Anything you could ever imagine and so much more.

Lastly we were able to get our Dwarven friend to write up a few words for us.

“Aye lads, it’s been quite a while since I’ve shown myself to the world, life’s been busy and all. But i want you all to know, I’ve missed you all a lot, life is different without the constant hassle of having to throw mugs at you rabble. Hopefully i’ll see those of you whom helped out at the opening, and for those who don’t have an invite yet. I hope you are able to obtain one through a friend. I’ll be seeing you lads and lasses soon” - Davin Steelsoul
It’s going to be an exciting day when the Brewhouse does open. Of course we shall be keeping an eye on the gathering, but perhaps you can be there too. The waiting is almost at an end.

- written by Anonymous

The Shameful Country

I don’t know if you’ll use that title or not but my first visit to Cyntria was exciting and disgusting at the same time. I’m Alice Shepard, a Cytherian of the Black-Key clan (Hello mom, I know somewhere you are reading this) and I was on a mission in District 11 of Cyntria to save a daughter kidnapped by ruffians, who in turn were supported by the local law enforcement. It didn’t take long to realize they have a mole in their organization, actually it took me about two minutes, they suspected this as well which convinced me we weren’t working for morons. I promised the father his daughter would be saved, luckily for us the law enforcement there were constructs.

I hunt humans when I am forced to but I hunt machines for pleasure. During my times in the dungeons of the Forgers delving for artifacts or random tid-bits of Tech and risking our lives in traps or against protections that usually came under the form of golems of different kinds, well my mother put a bow in my hand and told me to learn how to use it against them. (I know I like the bow but who puts a long-bow in a six year old’s hands mother? P.S. Tell Jake I still remember his debt, he’s not getting out of it) I learned, quite fast, and it seemed that I had a knack for finding their weak spots.

The one here in District 11 was significantly bigger than any other I had faced, about 100ft tall, but I scurried my ways through the shadows and found a good vantage point, together with a party of adventurers we took it down. We almost had a loss because they were impatient but in the end we destroyed the constructs, their reinforcements and the gang leader. We found the girl in the basement talking to a Big Heffe type person, it was obvious we couldn’t deal with them but he also seemed eager to leave so we just fucked with him a little, because we could, then saved the girl. Carried her out myself. Oww and remember that mole I mentioned, I found him at the end, put my gun to his head and he started sweating like a pig to slaughter. So overall great success, horrible city and constructs should watch out if I am ever around!

  • with regards from the Loremaster

The First Step

Some of you may know me and some of you might have heard mention of me, nonetheless this is a simple announcement that we are no longer a silent part of this faction squabble, this has gone on long enough, there is need for somebody strong to lead. My name is Callista Jones and I am the Second strongest Adventurer possessing the Dark-metal Plate.

I await anyone who would wish to challenge my claim as a leader or my strength at Primus Gradus, on the eastern shore of Lyal dream. If you defeat me in solo combat you may take over my city and everything else I possess, if you lose you will become one of my warriors. I have been told that these articles are supposed to be lengthier but I seem to have run out of relevant information.

I am not one for small talk or irrelevant action so I will say this, while every country looks out for their own interests and people’s dream still cling to power and wealth while the real war is more than apparent, me and my warriors will be fighting. That Tear is our first objective, if you believe you are strong come and test it. I warn any challenger though, if there is indeed power out there to defeat me then beware once you possess the title of Second you will be attacked by everyone who even believes they have a chance at getting it, there are no rules to this, if you die you lose it. That is all, I hope you have a pleasant day.

- with regards from the Loremaster